Death, Basketball, Coincidences, and Keeping the Faith
A non-stats related post about my dad and Syracuse/Virginia Tech
Note: I don’t usually do things like this, but it’s 1:30am and I can’t sleep. So here goes.
For the longest time, I thought my Dad was invincible.
He had an endless reserve of energy - whether it was walking the dogs in the middle of the winter, hauling things around the backyard, starting new passion projects, running his own business, taking care of his wife and daughters-in-law, working on his cars, stubbornly doing something on his own like hanging a light 30 feet in the air by himself instead of getting help, or playing with his grandson.
He didn’t stop. He didn’t know how.
The man never sat still - unless Virginia Tech was playing football or basketball (and even that didn’t always stop him).
Those were some of the few times when he would pause, sit down with a cup of coffee and the newspaper, and watch the Hokies play.
There weren’t many fall Saturdays that my mom and dad didn’t host us for pizza and football - it became a family tradition.
As a kid, I sometimes went against the grain merely for the sake of going against the grain.
My dad (a Marshall and VT graduate), mom, and brother were all Virginia Tech fans for as long as I could remember.
For some reason, I never bought in.
And it wasn’t that I had another team I was cheering for. I just never got behind a team.
Until I did.
One fall afternoon, as a 12-year-old in 1996, I watched Syracuse football and Donovan McNabb absolutely trounce the Hokies in a 52-21 shellacking at the Carrier Dome. I became an Orangeman (remember those days?) on the spot.
Since then, my Syracuse fan hood has kept growing.
It’s even turned into this blog/passion project/Twitter account (my dad always said I should use my love for numbers and statistics and writing…along with my experience playing and coaching…to start a project like this…here you go, Dad).
I remember having debate after debate about Syracuse and Virginia Tech and the rest of the ACC/Big East with both my dad and brother.
The conversation would usually follow the pattern of me doing my research beforehand, one of them making a claim, and me pulling open KenPom to prove them wrong.
It was our thing.
And it was (usually) peaceful conversation and debate - even if my mom absolutely hated our somewhat heated disagreements.
And sometimes my brother and I would really go at it with our debates.
Feelings weren’t ever really hurt, but my dad and mom didn’t like seeing us disagreeing about pretty much anything.
All they ever wanted was for us to get along and be there for each other as brothers. To be on the same team.
Following and liking two respective teams that played each other every year didn’t really help.
So…it goes without saying that when the Hokies and Orange matched up in the gridiron or on the hardwood, we almost always got together as a family to watch.
And it was one of my last memories with him before he passed two years ago.
My dad wasn’t himself for a few weeks - doctors claimed he had pneumonia, he had a few doctor visits, he was put on steroids, and we all figured this would pass soon.
That’s what always happened.
And…again…the man was invincible.
I came over to the house for a Saturday noon game. Syracuse was hosting the Hokies at the Dome in a game they weren’t supposed to win.
But, as they seem to do against Virginia Tech in the Dome, Syracuse played really well - earning a convincing 78-60 win.
I didn’t think it would be the last game we’d watch together.
My dad passed away suddenly a few days later. He had acute leukemia (for who knows how long) and we didn’t even know it. They told us he had cancer on Wednesday; he was gone Thursday morning.
He was 69 years old and planning to retire, together with his wife/my mom, the next year.
There are decisions I’ve made since his passing that I know he wouldn’t be proud of - selfish decisions that I’m not proud of myself.
I haven’t lived up to his name or the character he exhibited throughout his life.
I’m not the man he was; I don’t think I ever can be.
His constant mantra, in the stormiest of storms, was always “keep the faith”. Not necessarily in a religious way, but in a “keep pushing forward, keep trying, do the next right thing” type of way.
I carry that around in my pocket every day.
Oftentimes I’ll hear about things like coincidences or fate and think nothing of them. I’m typically rational and logical…maybe even cynical…about those things. Everything can be explained, you know?
For some reason, my family has held tight to the symbolism of feathers with my father’s passing. I’ll admit, they show up in the craziest of places (one even randomly ended up in my mom’s wedding ring…WHILE she was wearing it).
I appreciate the symbolism and am grateful they have those things to hold on to, but I don’t make much of a big deal about them personally.
But here’s one that has stuck with me:
I was sitting at my house in September when the Syracuse ACC basketball schedule was released.
As a Virginian, I always look for the road games against VT and UVA so I can make sure I’m in attendance.
I even took my son to his first Syracuse game a few weeks ago in Charlottesville.
(His name is Judah - can you guess his favorite player?)
Anyways, I remember scrolling through the schedule before I found the date of the matchup between Syracuse and Virginia Tech in Blacksburg.
January 28, 2023
When did my dad suddenly pass?
January 28, 2021
As you know, I’m a stats and numbers guy.
So, what are the odds this would happen?
There are only so many possible days available for ACC vs. ACC matchups. There are 150 total regular season games played.
There are 20 possible matchups that could have occurred for Syracuse on this particular day.
What are the odds that they would be scheduled to play AT Virginia Tech on this specific day?!?
I’m not good enough with numbers and data to figure that out exactly…but the odds sure do seem very unlikely that Syracuse would play Virginia Tech in Blacksburg on the anniversary of my father’s death.
Regardless of whether or not there’s some kind of rhyme and reason bigger than myself, I’ll be there in Blacksburg today with my brother watching the two teams play, and…really and truly…won’t care who wins the game.
And I’ll know that my dad won’t either.
He’ll just be happy his two sons are watching it together - in his honor.
Miss you, Dad.
Thanks for listening and give the people you love in your life a big hug,
— Brandon
Great story. Keep the faith 🙏